Jim’s Rant For The Day. Joke Letter #2.
Below is a mild reproduction of the second letter I sent my daughter to humble her. Here’s the story. Her girlfriend was getting married in a month with a honeymoon on a cruise ship. She insisted Jeannette and her husband go with them. Jeannette finally purchased their $1,500 tickets and looked forward to it all.
Before I printed the letter I printed a light watermark on the blank page that had large letters and was at a 45 degree angle. It said “CARNIVAL.” Jeannette said the watermark looked so real she was convinced the entire time the letter was real. That was trap #1.
Trap #2 was the phone number. It was like my IQ; it was two digits short. She said after her third attempt to call she lost it when she figured it out.
Hint #1 was the signature. It’s pronounced “I’m A Lying”. She never got it.
Keep in mind she received both letters the same day so she was overwhelmed.
My safety net was to deliver a copy to her engaged friend so she was in on the joke. I was sure a sick joke like this was not needed to upset her at this time in her life. She played the part well. So now the Letter:
CARNIVAL CRUISE LINE
Dear Jeannette Z:
We are sad to announce that after being in business for thirty-two years we are having to close our business in bankruptcy under United States Code 6.135. All future cruises have been canceled. We are sorry for the inconvenience this may cause you.
Our attorneys informed us that you can expect a refund of $53.18 in about five months upon court approval of the payout.
If you have any questions regarding this matter feel free to contact us at our 24/7 toll free number at 1-800-CARNI.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.