Jim’s Daily Rant. Why I Appose Home Economics In School.

I was recently divorced and in a dry spell. I was too timid to ask a girl for a date but was feeling the need to start training for the Olympic Broad Jumping event.

Before I met her we had never met or heard anything about each other. She read about the divorce in the local legal newspaper and tracked me down. She separated me from the herd by smiling and winking at me. When I approached her she vamped me.

I was getting leery and thinking of not seeing her anymore but I kept going back as I had to.

After seeing her the second time she lifted my Driver’s License and later super-glued it in a laminated pocket in her wallet. In the initial meeting I had shared that I was raised with seven sisters and trained to never put my hand in a purse.

When I needed ID I had to pick her up. Each time her skirts got shorter and the vamping increased. I swear, I never had a chance. After 40 years I can assure you I have never worn a watch or carried a wallet. Why should I? She has all my time, money and ID. Honestly, I never had a sporting chance.

She owns me totally but don’t tell her I said that. I once asked her where she learned how to do that. She gave me another Vamper’s smile and wink and simply said “Home EC.”