This headline yesterday, Debate Erupts About Banning G-String Bikinis From Australian Waterparks, stirred up a frustrating experience from my past. I had a homework assignment in Legal Writing class that destroyed my weekend and ego for a month. I say a month because it took that long to flush thong bating suits out of my mind.
This occurred after the thongs had been out about a year. The assignment was to write a simple local ordinance forbidding them on public beaches that would be enforceable as a misdemeanor. It sounded pretty simple. Had my drafted in an hour.
Then I proofed it as far as being enforceable. I erased and redid it all weekend but never got it. I actually gave up but still thought about it until class. I discovered there were a great many of us with no success.
The problem is how do you describe “where the line is drawn at?” I began with the number of square inches of material in the back, but that depends on the size of the rump. Then on my final attempt I tried the size of the rump and the amount of material as a percentage of the rump. That is when I realized it was impossible to define the size of the rump in a reliable method outside of personal up close judgment.
The crux of the problem was the absence of lines outlining the rump. Where do those lines begin and end in marking the rump? And even if there were lines, all cops would have to now carry a measuring tape and calculator on their already overloaded belts. I even pictured the chaos when a cop’s belt and trousers slid down from the weight while he was gathering evidence!
In class the instructor confided that attorneys all over the country were trying to crack that problem, but they too were unsuccessful so far.
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