Jim’s Rant For The Day. “Have You Any Dreams You’d Like To Sell? Dreams of loneliness…”
Two days ago I wrote a Rant titled Dreams which featured the song by the title of Dreams sung by FleetwoodMac. I didn’t want to but perhaps it's time I share the back story of my relationship with it. Today is going to be a heavy day for me as I have two Rants to write that I have long delayed, with this one being the first. But I never dreamed I would be sharing my history with “Dreams”. Hear the Song
After sixteen years of happy marriage I made a mistake and took on a two year job that wouldn’t let go of me, burned me out and created a vacuum at home. She wanted a divorce to be free. A hundred times I listened to that song at home while stirring a Gin-N-Tonic with my pinky trying to decipher things. I told you before I’m a slow learner so about the hundredth time I finally got it from the selling your dreams part of the song.
“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself It's only me Who wants to wrap around your dreams and... Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness...”
During that hundredth time I realized I couldn’t buy her back and destroy her dreams. If I really loved her I had to let her go. I saw her future but I couldn’t tell her – there was just no way.
I know that song kept me from suicide. I was able to accept and get on with my life.
My life lesson was sometimes you can know things that others don’t but you can’t tell them forcefully; you can only hint it. You have to respect their dreams and free will.
The song has been haunting me again for a few months and I can’t shake it. It’s the time we are in now. For years I have been telling my wife of 38ish wonderful years about what we are now going through, but I also have confided there are things I am holding to myself and cannot share.
I thought we had more time but Clif shocked me last night when he said the “bug” knowledge will be out by January. It’s best my wife learns it with the rest of the world when information and support is there. I wouldn’t know how to help her in a vacuum.
P. S. I read that Stevie Nicks wrote that song in 10 minutes about a friend of hers that kept making the same mistake over and over and Stevie couldn’t help her. The band hated the lyrics when they first heard it.